1 Drop at a Time

Happy World Diabetes Day! Happy and Diabetes in the same phrase seems kind of silly. 5 years ago, November 14th wasn't on my radar. I was still in the hope boat that diabetes would disappear after Jacob was born. Little did I know what November 14th would mean to me the following year. After being diagnosed, my world turned upside down physically, emotionally, spiritually. You name it, I was feeling it. Heck, let's be honest, I still do.  Since I've been diagnosed, I've been on a quest for answers. I want to know why, how, what can I do? It can be exhausting. So, where am I today on this World Diabetes Day. I'm honestly shook a bit after some oddly spiritual experiences recently. First one was in Phoenix. I was getting a massage and the masseuse spoke some truths to me that I needed to hear. It was so eerily spot on, I asked if she googled me before my appointment. Then, our little family of three was eating at Chick-fila  and this woman named Sylvia with a comple

Hi all! Our Athens weekend was a blast. Back in July, I went back to Athens to help train the new school nurses and I decided that running the AthHalf would give me an excuse to come back and visit  our friends and see my students. My students will always be my babies! As you know, training for this half was a little shaky, especially with a sprained ankle early on, BUT with some (LOTS) of support from Osman, my family and friends and knowing I'd get to see some of my students, I pushed through. I've had a few people ask how I train for a half and I thought I'd share what works for me. So here we go.... 1) If you are a female with type 1, download the app  My Flo . This app helps you break down your cycle week by week. This app helped me tremendously. I was able to figure out which phase of my cycle required more or less insulin. IT IS AWESOME and helps make running with type 1 and being a female a smidge more predictable, if that is even possible. 2) I highly sugge

One of these days, I hope I learn that life would be so much easier if I would just take a chill pill. My endocrinologist appointment went great. I usually like to go to appointments alone but the night before I asked Osman to come with me. I needed my boys there. I was so afraid of losing my control of this illness, not clicking with my doctor, and a million more what if questions circled my mind. Jacob and I took the trolley and the train to Philly. We are both still enamored with public transit. Jacob is figuring out the stops and how to stand without falling. The city is one of those magical places for me. Growing up, I went to NYC once and fell in love. There is something humbling being around crowds of people. For a moment in time, you are all on the same path with strangers until the road diverges. I always wonder who people are, what their story is, but that is a whole other ramble for another day. We met up with Osman at our stop and per Jacob's request we swung his not

Dang it to heck, I am stuck in a rut or more like a crater. Couldn't tell you why. With my impending, first appointment with my new endocrinologist, I've gotten my blood sugars in better check and that helps how I feel tremendously. I will say, I had a blood sugar roller coaster kind of day on Monday, and boy, that was not fun. It is hard to describe the level of crap I can feel when my blood sugar swings all over the place. It makes it even worse because people can't actually see it happening. This past Monday, I allowed myself the time to not be okay. I felt like poop and embraced the poop. I have a slight confession to make, I am obsessed with the app Tik-Tok. Go ahead and judge, I judge myself for watching it. However, there is voice over where some lady says "you're not good and that is okay." I kept hearing this in my head as I rested it on the counter and embraced the suck. I've sat here for a solid 5 minutes and tried to think of how to describe

Hi all! I feel like this time of year, I always say, where did time go? The coming holidays make me nostalgic and feel almost bittersweet.  I miss so many people every day. Don't get me wrong though, I am grateful for people to miss. I keep coming into these daily moments that remind me why community is SO important. As you know, our family made a big move to the northeast and I have to say I'm so thankful for the community we have built in a short time. Delco has welcomed up with open arms. If you don't know what Delco means, it is hard to explain but I am proud to be a part of this community. Thank goodness for Face Time and texting as well because it helps me keep in touch with my Athens and Oklahoma communities. I don't know what I would do without them. So where am I go with this post.....I'm rounding the corner to my first endocrinologist appointment. I'm already sweating about it. The process to be accepted as a patient was daunting. My previous endo ha

Hello. This week has been a series of unfortunate events. From a sprained ankle while training for the Ath Half, to blood sugars that have hung out in the 300's, I'm at the, as Jacob would say, "What in the world?!" phase. My blood sugars have been high without eating or bolusing absurd amounts of insulin with meals. I went a solid 2-3 days thinking: -Maybe your insets are not long enough for your growing mid-section -Maybe it is your hormones -Maybe it is because of your ankle sprain and your current immobility -Maybe your insulin needs are changing If you notice a common trend these high blood sugars must be MY fault. I am not alone in this. My diabuddies do the very same thing. Of course our high blood sugars are our fault, why wouldn't they be? Hell, we stood the wrong way for a solid 2 seconds so that has to be why our blood sugars are high. WRONG. Y'all after all this, you know what was wrong? My insulin was bad....a whole dang bottle of insulin

How in the world has 4 years come and gone? I'd love to say I have this diabetes game figured out but each day is a new and exciting experience. Please sense the sarcasm. I remember August 14, 2015. I was this tiny, little half of myself, literally, my body was eating itself and I was scared and felt like crap. All the questions of what life was going to be like were swirling around in my head and my poor brain didn't have the energy it needed to process them. Fortunately for me, I never went into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis), if you can remember, I tested positive for the type 1 antibodies after Jacob was born and was what they call, "honeymooning" for a few months. Honeymooning basically means my pancreas was still making insulin but eventually would stop. So fast forward to August 14, 2015 and my pancreas was crapping out. I got started on insulin and slowly but surely my life with type 1 began. Being diagnosed with a chronic illness that has no cure, is strange.

I never thought getting an order of diabetes supplies would make me tear up. Then again, going to the pharmacy used to make me bawl my eyes out and I made Osman get my insulin for a few months because it depressed the crap out of me. Oh how far I've come. Monday was a shit day.  I'll be honest, I've been avoiding doing anything diabetes related for the past couple of months, but supplies don't last forever. Between no AC and finding out that the current company I used for my diabetes supplies does not accept my new insurance, made me pretty cranky. In the back of my mind, I knew I just needed to call my insurance company and ask for a list of approved suppliers but who wants to do that? All it does is once again solidify the fact that I have this disease and it ain't going away and I probably wasted a solid 1 1/2 - 2 hours on the phone. So here is where I got super pissed. My old insurance allowed me to use the pharmacy portion of the plan so all we had to pay w

*Warning! These are just the random neuron fires of my mind. I think there are many paths to reach your purpose. I'm just feeling a little lost on that journey. Enjoy the rambles.* "Love is the most powerful and underused force for change in the world." - Melinda Gates  I FINALLY finished one of the most informative books I've ever read, The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates. I honestly would do the book a disservice by trying to give you a quick synopsis of what contents it contains. Each chapter is as if you are traveling to another part of the world and witnessing a small glimpse of everyday life for other women and the challenges that most women in America would never face. That is not to say that many American women do not struggle with access to pre-natal care or contraceptive options etc etc However, I will say it was beyond eye opening, albeit life changing, for me to read her book. Promise, I am not trying to make this a political blog. What is also i

It is July...I took a glance at my New Year's resolutions and decided, July can be another fresh start. Lord knows after New Years 2019 life was a hott mess. So one of my resolutions was to blog more, here we go. I totally forgot I had written this. Must have been around March when I wrote it. *********************************************** As you know, our midwest/southern family will be heading to the Northeast this summer. I never realized how much I said "y'all" until I was speaking on the phone with our realtor in Philadelphia. Is it weird I don't feel right saying, Philly just yet? I feel like I have to earn that right. Prepping your house to sale with a Fournager and three dogs is a bit of a challenge. There are lots of baby gates and "don't touch the walls" around here. We've started packing up non-essentials to make our home feel less like our's and a place someone else will get to call home.  I've been sad at times but m

You know the old saying: The only constant in life is change. Blah blah blah. Change brings so much to the table while simultaneously taking so much away. My mom always told me that no matter how good the change was, it was still hard. So in the theme of change, I thought my blog could use a change, especially since I was feeling more like myself again. I wrote a post on my phone just after the new year, right before our world started changing even more. I never got the chance to post it. So here it is: Depression is much like the waves of an ocean. It ebbs and flows with the tides. For a while, I could repress it and blame it on the changing of the seasons, but before long it gripped my life and held a choke hold on me. I continued to go to work and be the best mom, wife and nurse as I could be. At the end of the day, that empty, bottomless feeling overtook me. I didn’t care what diabetes looked like or the the fact my blood sugars went high. It was one less low to worry about. I