It wasn’t so bad.....

One of these days, I hope I learn that life would be so much easier if I would just take a chill pill. My endocrinologist appointment went great. I usually like to go to appointments alone but the night before I asked Osman to come with me. I needed my boys there. I was so afraid of losing my control of this illness, not clicking with my doctor, and a million more what if questions circled my mind.

Jacob and I took the trolley and the train to Philly. We are both still enamored with public transit. Jacob is figuring out the stops and how to stand without falling. The city is one of those magical places for me. Growing up, I went to NYC once and fell in love. There is something humbling being around crowds of people. For a moment in time, you are all on the same path with strangers until the road diverges. I always wonder who people are, what their story is, but that is a whole other ramble for another day. We met up with Osman at our stop and per Jacob's request we swung his not so small self between us. When I get really nervous I try my best to stay present. I enjoyed the moment as best as I could. There were lots of college students with forlorn faces, tired from either studying or the weekend. The air had fall in it and the leaves had turned to colors I'd only seen in pictures.  Our walk was short and we arrived to UPenn. Honestly, it gave the vibe of  its own, little space aged city. You know those movies were the world is over and people live on a space craft forever stuck indoors. To me, it felt like that.

We got inside, figured out we had lots more walking to do to get to our tower. We took a sky bridge and as I walked across, I was transported back in the day when I was a nurse and worked at the VA. I felt like I was taking a quick break, escaping the hustle and for a moment I was sure I was in Oklahoma City. We made it to the office and everyone was so kind. We didn’t have to wait but 5 minutes and the nurse called my name. Jacob to his true Jacob self chatted away. He made sure the nurse knew he was NOT the patient. He is such a mess.

I loathed getting weighed just about like everyone else and this damn scale kept my weight up for awhile until some tiny little man got on after me. The doctor came shortly after, he was tall, almost lanky and had a kind smile. He gave us fist bumps for hellos, because you know, flu season.  Jacob again told him he was not the patient. Within minutes my nerves had settled. Honestly, he was one of the best doctors I’ve ever worked with. He sat with us for over an hour, discussing far more than just diabetes. He made me feel human, I wasn’t a number and my numbers weren’t reflective of me as a human. He included my whole family in the discussion because goodness knows this chronic illness affects all of us. Never in a million years did I think I would leave the office smiling and recharged but I did. My new doctor made a few changes to my settings but what he really did was give me hope. Hope because he restored the idea that I’m far more than just diabetes, hope that there may not be a cure but there will be technology that is so far superior than anything I could imagine. Apparently with this technology,  I could eat a pack of skittles and my blood sugars would stay stable.

Change is hard. I did not want to leave my medical team in Athens, they were my first diabetes family. They supported me through one of the hardest times of my life.  However, I left UPenn knowing my family and me would be in good hands. I feel like that rut/crater I was in just got a lot smaller. I'm ready to take life 1 Drop at a Time in a whole new light.

Some things don't change though, I had to get my post appointment coffee. The northeast is rubbing, I'm starting to like Dunkin' more than Starbucks. But I will always say "y'all",  always.