The Little Things
Jacob had his first breakdown today. Another friend's birthday was cancelled. He was excited to celebrate his friend and let's be honest and eat cake. This party was princess themed and all the girls in his class asked him to dress up as Olaf. Y'all know Jake Sheikh, he doesn't disappoint. He had me get an Olaf costume just for the occasion.
Fast forward to today, I asked him if he'd like to record a video and say happy birthday to his friend. Well, his eyes filled with tears and I didn't know what to say. His words filled the void, "Mama, did another birthday get cancelled because of the virus?" I couldn't lie, and told him yes, and he just cried. I held him and he vented his frustrations. I've been so caught up in the big picture and dangers, I forgot what the world looked like to a 5 year old. As a parent, there is a that fine line I walk of how much do I burden my child with and much do I protect him from? Jacob understands we are home to protect others and ourselves from the virus, but can I or should I tell him more?
However, in the life of a busy 5 year old, his little world has been turned upside down and he's more than likely grieving. Today. while he was venting, my initial reaction was to to tell him, "hey, we have a home, food, health...etc." but then I realized he is just a kid. A kid that misses his teachers and friends and the life he was used to. He knew his feelings were okay. It made me realize, all of our feelings are okay. As much as our stories are parallel right now, they are so much the same. I can't help but think, sitting and wallowing won't help. At the same time, checking in and seeing how you truly feel is so important. It's important to allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask what that child that rest deep down inside of you is feeling. How are you?
I"ll put my feelings out there and this is how I am feeling right now:
-guilty
-happy
-sad
-hopeful
-confused
-unsure
Basically, I'm split between many opposites. I do try my best to focus on the positive but some days focusing on the scary emotions is okay. I'm lucky because I get to focus on those words from my safety of my couch as I watch Netflix and Hulu. So many others are away from their homes and caring for those that are the sickest. So what can I do? I can take it 1 Drop at a Time while trying my best to make a small difference whether it be helping my son to learn a new word, aiding small business or just thinking/praying all the positive light into the darkness that seems to be around these days.
Thanks for reading this non-type 1 diabetes blog. I wish you and your family, health, hope and happiness.
Fast forward to today, I asked him if he'd like to record a video and say happy birthday to his friend. Well, his eyes filled with tears and I didn't know what to say. His words filled the void, "Mama, did another birthday get cancelled because of the virus?" I couldn't lie, and told him yes, and he just cried. I held him and he vented his frustrations. I've been so caught up in the big picture and dangers, I forgot what the world looked like to a 5 year old. As a parent, there is a that fine line I walk of how much do I burden my child with and much do I protect him from? Jacob understands we are home to protect others and ourselves from the virus, but can I or should I tell him more?
However, in the life of a busy 5 year old, his little world has been turned upside down and he's more than likely grieving. Today. while he was venting, my initial reaction was to to tell him, "hey, we have a home, food, health...etc." but then I realized he is just a kid. A kid that misses his teachers and friends and the life he was used to. He knew his feelings were okay. It made me realize, all of our feelings are okay. As much as our stories are parallel right now, they are so much the same. I can't help but think, sitting and wallowing won't help. At the same time, checking in and seeing how you truly feel is so important. It's important to allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask what that child that rest deep down inside of you is feeling. How are you?
I"ll put my feelings out there and this is how I am feeling right now:
-guilty
-happy
-sad
-hopeful
-confused
-unsure
Basically, I'm split between many opposites. I do try my best to focus on the positive but some days focusing on the scary emotions is okay. I'm lucky because I get to focus on those words from my safety of my couch as I watch Netflix and Hulu. So many others are away from their homes and caring for those that are the sickest. So what can I do? I can take it 1 Drop at a Time while trying my best to make a small difference whether it be helping my son to learn a new word, aiding small business or just thinking/praying all the positive light into the darkness that seems to be around these days.
Thanks for reading this non-type 1 diabetes blog. I wish you and your family, health, hope and happiness.
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