1 Drop at a Time

Jacob had his first breakdown today. Another friend's birthday was cancelled. He was excited to celebrate his friend and let's be honest and eat cake. This party was princess themed and all the girls in his class asked him to dress up as Olaf. Y'all know Jake Sheikh, he doesn't disappoint. He had me get an Olaf costume just for the occasion. Fast forward to today, I asked him if he'd like to record a video and say happy birthday to his friend. Well, his eyes filled with tears and I didn't know what to say. His words filled the void, "Mama, did another birthday get cancelled because of the virus?"  I couldn't lie, and told him yes, and he just cried. I held him and he vented his frustrations. I've been so caught up in the big picture and dangers, I forgot what the world looked like to a 5 year old. As a parent, there is a that fine line I walk of how much do I burden my child with and much do I protect him from? Jacob understands we are home t

Whew, my last  post  was a doozy but I am so glad I put it out there. I want to say thank you to everyone that reached out and checked on me. Over the weekend I was at church and a couple friends asked how I was feeling. Yet again, I felt the reminder that I am not alone. So, this week I decided to take a big leap. I've been on an anti-depressant for about 3 years now. It has been life saving and life changing. After being on it for about a month, it hit me just how anxious I had always been. Here I was taking it for depression, but I was also anxious as heck.  It was a breath of fresh air in my life and Osman's too. Go ahead, you can giggle. For a couple weeks now I've been toying with the idea of tapering off the medication. So I contacted my doctor and he worked out a taper plan. You might be wondering, why do I need to taper? For starters, you probably wouldn't want to be around me if I just stopped taking my medicine tomorrow. BUT the bigger reason is, there ca

Today was rough. I know social media allows you to show you at your best, today I was not at that baseline. So here is the back story...My Tandem tSlim pump provided this amazing update for a program called Control IQ. Overall, the update has been great, but ...why the hell does there always have to be a but ? So bear with me, this update comes with different activity settings like Sleep or Exercise . Today, I ate my protein bar like usual and went for my walk. When I say walk , I walk about 15 minute miles. Go ahead and imagine an older woman power walking--it is shamelessly me. Basically, after eating the protein bar, my blood sugar levels increased so the algorithm with the Control IQ update said "woah...we need to give you insulin to keep you in range." 1 whole damn unit was given, and I didn't realize it. Well, I'm rounding the corner and almost to my house when my Dexcom (the device that tells me what my blood sugar levels are) alerted me that my blood sugar le

Happy World Diabetes Day! Happy and Diabetes in the same phrase seems kind of silly. 5 years ago, November 14th wasn't on my radar. I was still in the hope boat that diabetes would disappear after Jacob was born. Little did I know what November 14th would mean to me the following year. After being diagnosed, my world turned upside down physically, emotionally, spiritually. You name it, I was feeling it. Heck, let's be honest, I still do.  Since I've been diagnosed, I've been on a quest for answers. I want to know why, how, what can I do? It can be exhausting. So, where am I today on this World Diabetes Day. I'm honestly shook a bit after some oddly spiritual experiences recently. First one was in Phoenix. I was getting a massage and the masseuse spoke some truths to me that I needed to hear. It was so eerily spot on, I asked if she googled me before my appointment. Then, our little family of three was eating at Chick-fila  and this woman named Sylvia with a comple

Hi all! Our Athens weekend was a blast. Back in July, I went back to Athens to help train the new school nurses and I decided that running the AthHalf would give me an excuse to come back and visit  our friends and see my students. My students will always be my babies! As you know, training for this half was a little shaky, especially with a sprained ankle early on, BUT with some (LOTS) of support from Osman, my family and friends and knowing I'd get to see some of my students, I pushed through. I've had a few people ask how I train for a half and I thought I'd share what works for me. So here we go.... 1) If you are a female with type 1, download the app  My Flo . This app helps you break down your cycle week by week. This app helped me tremendously. I was able to figure out which phase of my cycle required more or less insulin. IT IS AWESOME and helps make running with type 1 and being a female a smidge more predictable, if that is even possible. 2) I highly sugge

One of these days, I hope I learn that life would be so much easier if I would just take a chill pill. My endocrinologist appointment went great. I usually like to go to appointments alone but the night before I asked Osman to come with me. I needed my boys there. I was so afraid of losing my control of this illness, not clicking with my doctor, and a million more what if questions circled my mind. Jacob and I took the trolley and the train to Philly. We are both still enamored with public transit. Jacob is figuring out the stops and how to stand without falling. The city is one of those magical places for me. Growing up, I went to NYC once and fell in love. There is something humbling being around crowds of people. For a moment in time, you are all on the same path with strangers until the road diverges. I always wonder who people are, what their story is, but that is a whole other ramble for another day. We met up with Osman at our stop and per Jacob's request we swung his not