I'm Still Here
I've been wondering what to write for awhile. The month of December was a blur. We got to spend time with the Becker Family, or Papa, Gigi and Uncle Fad as Jake calls them, over Christmas. It was so good to see them all. Gigi went all out as usual and Jake had three more people to play "big trucks" with. It was hard just having ol' daddy and mommy to play with after all the Christmas Festivities, especially when Uncle Fad made Jake's bath like a pool and let him splash around until the water turned cold. But that's what uncles are for, right?
I experienced my first extreme low, 38, and was totally confused, didn't remember anything etc. After that, my super hero husband should pick up some nursing shifts. I think my words were "I don't know what to do" and flat out refusing to take my blood sugar because "I took it yesterday." I wandered aimlessly around until I passed out in another room and Osman was able to wake me and convince me to eat something. I was probably just a few moments away from Glucagon. Having a low blood sugar like that, has always been one of my greatest fears. However, I learned a lot and realized, even though some days when I feel isolated, I am not alone. I have more love and support than I could imagine, because dealing with a confused, ornery Meagan takes a lot of love. AND I pretty much kissed my Dexcom the next day because when I was low, it is what woke up Osman.
Then, the New Year started, Jake turned 2. I cried. Work has been crazy with poor, sick little kiddos. "Wash your hands," is something I say in my sleep. There were several birthdays in between, mine included. I like getting older. My whole life I wanted to be an adult, so here I am. Getting old doesn't seem so scary, especially after celebrating the life of Mary Tyler Moore. She was diagnosed with Type 1 in her 30's and she lived until 80.
I experienced my first extreme low, 38, and was totally confused, didn't remember anything etc. After that, my super hero husband should pick up some nursing shifts. I think my words were "I don't know what to do" and flat out refusing to take my blood sugar because "I took it yesterday." I wandered aimlessly around until I passed out in another room and Osman was able to wake me and convince me to eat something. I was probably just a few moments away from Glucagon. Having a low blood sugar like that, has always been one of my greatest fears. However, I learned a lot and realized, even though some days when I feel isolated, I am not alone. I have more love and support than I could imagine, because dealing with a confused, ornery Meagan takes a lot of love. AND I pretty much kissed my Dexcom the next day because when I was low, it is what woke up Osman.
Then, the New Year started, Jake turned 2. I cried. Work has been crazy with poor, sick little kiddos. "Wash your hands," is something I say in my sleep. There were several birthdays in between, mine included. I like getting older. My whole life I wanted to be an adult, so here I am. Getting old doesn't seem so scary, especially after celebrating the life of Mary Tyler Moore. She was diagnosed with Type 1 in her 30's and she lived until 80.
I've finished 2 of my 3 "life with chronic illness books." I couldn't finish the third, I'm all chronic illnessed out. I made a big stride by walking into the pharmacy to pick up a prescription of testing strips. I spoke with the pharmacist about taking all my scripts off automatic refill. I didn't tell her it was so my control freak side can order them when I'M ready. It is the little things. It was so different than hiding in my car. I had my work scrubs on, a 2 year old in my arms and I just happened to need a few bottles of testing strips to carry on with my life.
I hope this month of February brings all of us lots of moments of love and peace. While taking it 1 Drop at a time, I'm thankful for the good days and I'm trying to be more mindful and acknowledge the bad days as the come.
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