The Shoe

Yesterday, I had an honest mom moment. I always swore up and down that I would be mindful of the little moments with my son, and enjoy them. Then the shoe disappeared. 

Jake, my son, doesn't talk much yet. We get by with little noises and lots of pointing. Well, I was rushing around the house getting laundry done, because Thursday is laundry day. Why is that?  I have no idea why Thursday is the magical day for laundry! I asked Jake if he wanted to go outside. To my surprise, 
he let out an excited little noise and ran down the hall. I was in his room, with my head  in the depths of his dirty clothes basket, when I stood, there was Jake with his favorite shoe. I smiled at him, hands full of laundry and said "I'll put your shoe on in just a second." He looked at me, raised it up one more time and I said the same thing. He didn't seem too phased that I didn't put the shoe on, so he followed me to the laundry room. I got my precious laundry started and turned around to put on Jake's shoe. 

The shoe was gone. Jake was so mad that he had to wear a different pair. I have  never seen him upset about something like that before. I did a quick search to no avail. I was so annoyed. We went outside to play and as I watched Jake push around his bubble lawn mower, the mom guilt hit me hard. 

The person I should be annoyed with is myself. Here my son, brought me his shoe and I put laundry before him. Now the shoe is lost, just like that moment I could have had with my son. 

As someone with T1D, for various reasons, I do occasionally lose moments with my son.  I think somewhere in Jake's growing mind, he understands. However this moment, I lost it myself. So I learned laundry can surely wait. I deep down I knew this fact, I just got caught up in the day to day and forgot to see the magic in those little moments. 

After I put Jake down for his nap, I literally tore the house apart. I was so passionate to find this damn shoe because I thought, maybe if I can find it, I'll get my lost moment back. I looked in all of Jake's favorite hiding places; baskets, closets, under the couch. I even stealthily went in his room while he napped to search for the shoe. I couldn't find it! 

Well, my laundry that was so important was done drying, so I went to fold it. As I got to the bottom of the basket, there was Jake's shoe. To say I didn't cry, would be a lie. Jake probably thought he was helping me with the laundry, so he threw his shoe in. What a sweet, understanding child he is.

I will do my best to never lose a shoe again. 


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