1 Drop at a Time

I've been wondering what to write for awhile. The month of December was a blur. We got to spend time with the Becker Family, or Papa, Gigi and Uncle Fad as Jake calls them, over Christmas. It was so good to see them all. Gigi went all out as usual and Jake  had three more people to play "big trucks" with. It was hard just having ol' daddy and mommy to play with after all the Christmas Festivities, especially when Uncle Fad made Jake's  bath like a pool and let him splash around until the water turned cold. But that's what uncles are for, right? I experienced my first extreme low, 38, and was totally confused, didn't remember anything etc. After that, my super hero husband should pick up some nursing shifts.  I think my words were "I don't know what to do" and flat out refusing to take my blood sugar because "I took it yesterday." I wandered aimlessly around until I passed out in another room and Osman was able to wake me and convi...

Happy Thanksgiving and I hope the beginnings of the Christmas season are full of cheer. I love the days after Thanksgiving. Everything seems a bit tamer, all the food has been cooked and dishes washed, I hope.  I am happy to say that this year, I did not cry at the idea of Thanksgiving. I have past Meagan to thank for that. All the hours of research into food options and carb counting and crying in frustration were already had. This year, I simply pulled up my recipes and cooked away. Sure, it will never be exactly how it was, but nothing in life is. Every year there will be something just a little different, but this year I wasn't sad.  It still amazes me how some things that seem so simple, so mundane, are what I morn the most. This Thanksgiving, I had a few lows and a couple highs but the moment that blood sugar went above my yellow line, I grabbed the pups and the boys graciously obliged and we power walked the neighborhood like there was no tomorrow. The sun never felt so...

Today was our first, JDRF walk. It was so surreal to be in a crowd of people and not have a clue who had T1D and who was there for support. The occasional pump tubing peaked from a shirt or a Pod could be seen, but your guess was as good as mine. I was nervous this morning, but when we picked up our friends and got to the event, my heart was filled with gratitude. It takes a village to manage a chronic illness. It was beyond humbling to have parts of my village around me, whether it be in person or in spirit, all walking in the same direction. So from the bottom of my heart, to my family for loving me unconditionally and supporting this cause, to my friends that were able to come, the friends who sent me loving vibes and the new friends I made today, thank you. You all bring so much joy and laughter to my life, especially on the days I need it the most.  Today, I think the most striking realization was the number of people who work tirelessly to support those with T1D and t...

Y'all, where did October go? I have successfully watched   Halloweentown  and  Hocus   Pocus  to the point I don't even need to have it on because I can see it in my mind. Both are masterpieces.  I unintentionally avoided another down in the dumps week. How? I didn't pick up my diabetes supplies! My last post wasn't exactly me. I was so sad about life and I've noticed a trend of this is happening every couple of months. Thank you to all my friends and family for reaching out to me. I forgot I am not alone, your love helped me process why this may be going on. I figured out this most recent time started when I went to the pharmacy to get more testing strips. I live in a small town, but there is still a waiting period while in the car line at  CVS . When I go to the pharmacy, I'm usually alone with my thoughts because for whatever reason Jake isn't with me. Sometimes, I find gratitude for the ability to get the supplies. Other times, I pl...

It has been a minute since my last post. I thought about hiding behind a new recipe, giving the world the perfection it desires, in the form of a prepared dish and Instagram filter, but I am in a funk. I'm sad, hurting, pretty much every adjective on an antidepressant commercial. When I started this blog, I asked you to follow me on the good days and bad. Unfortunately, I've been riding on bad days for a few weeks now. I am struggling and wondering, why am I not choosing happiness? Why am I not more thankful? Why did this happen to me? You know, all the self indulgent questions that make me cringe while writing them out.  So being a doer, who loves control, I went to Amazon to buy some books. I think in all this sadness and loss of interest in life, I was actually at a pivotal moment, I was ready to see "Chronic Illness" and "Diabetes" written on the pages of a self help book. I was no longer buying books about spirituality or God throughout the cent...

Y'all, I did it. I traveled to another country, diabetes and all. I gave up trying to hide my pump and just wore it on my shoulder.  Let me rewind a little and tell you about my friend, Chelsea. You know the person that never knows a stranger? Well that is my friend, Chels. Chelsea and Alex just got married in Cabo and it was such a fun weekend. At the beginning of my diabetes journey, I reached out to Chelsea and asked her about starting a blog. Chels had a successful fashion blog in college, and she knew the ins and outs. She encouraged me to go for it, so I took the plunge. I'm so glad I did.  Well fast forward a few months and Chelsea and Alex announced they were getting married. Yay!! The wedding would be in Cabo San Lucas. I was so excited for them, and for the opportunity to be a part of their wedding. Then that crushing fear of "how do I travel with this chronic illness" hit.  To say I didn't want to back out several times would be a lie, but you know what...

What a week it has been! I never thought I'd say "happy first day of school" again. I've learned more in these past couple of weeks than I have in awhile. 1. On the first day back from summer break, don't put on mascara until after goodbyes are said to Jake....oh the tears! Being a working mom, no matter how much I love my job, is hard. When I leave Jake in the mornings, my heart is always going to break a little.  2. Teachers are amazing. I've always known that teachers put in a lot of time BUT they put in more than just work hours. They really care for their students. Not only that, they can remember student's names like bosses. I'm jealous of that notion, too. 3. I'm so inspired by students who live with chronic illness and the way they LIVE. I sometimes (always) consume myself with numbers and trends. I put on my diabetes goggles and that is all I see. However, this past week , I  listened to my body more and looked at those numbers...