Diagnosis Day: 8/14/15



 *Some slight profanity below, sorry mom*
 
"Oh sh*t" doesn't quite capture my emotions but it comes close. I have always wondered how I might die and it sort of feels like I have been handed a quasi death sentence. I am faced with this totally manageable but tough, chronic illness and I have to make a choice, will I  be a victim or a survivor? Of course I say "SURVIVOR," with the enthusiasm of a teenage girl at a pep rally, but this is before the doctor starts talking about the number of finger sticks I  will require, managing deathly lows and highs. I'm like dang, I'm a nurse. I'm supposed to take care of people with this, not be this. But am I this? Does this illness define me? A long pause ensues in my brain, my fingers stop typing-well kind of, I'm still typing but you catch my drift. I don't know the answer to this. I don't think there is a right answer and I don't know if I will ever be able to answer that question. All I know right now is, I have to take it 1 Drop at a Time. One blood sugar reading followed by a shot of a liquid that I will forever be grateful for OR followed by a glucose tab that corrects what that beautiful liquid caused. If I didn't know what love/hate was, I sure as hell do now. 1 Drop at a Time.

MJS

Comments

  1. BrittneyAugust 18, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    Welcome to the blog world! I'm so glad you decided to document this journey. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer she began a blog primarily as an easy way to keep family and friends in the loop about her prognosis. However, it ended up being very therapeutic for her. I hope you find peace in writing! Sometimes when I'm having a terrible day, I'll sit down and write a blog post...by the time I hit "publish" my spirits have lifted and I feel better. I hope this has the same effect on you! Also, I laughed when I read the first line in this post, I too feel like I owe it to my mother to remain "lady like" in my writing...however, I recently read that "great artwork wouldn't be created if people cared what their parents thought." So I applaud you for keeping it real! Can't wait to follow along!

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1 Drop at a TimeAugust 18, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    Thank you so much Brittney! I am so thankful for modern technology and so many supportive people near and far. Thanks so much for sharing in this journey with me. I always enjoy reading your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownAugust 20, 2015 at 3:34 PM

    I miss you, Meagan! So glad you have this platform to document your journey with us!

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1 Drop at a TimeAugust 20, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    I was just thinking about you the other day! I miss you lots!

    ReplyDelete

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