Slow and Steady
Whew, my last post was a doozy but I am so glad I put it out there. I want to say thank you to everyone that reached out and checked on me. Over the weekend I was at church and a couple friends asked how I was feeling. Yet again, I felt the reminder that I am not alone.
So, this week I decided to take a big leap. I've been on an anti-depressant for about 3 years now. It has been life saving and life changing. After being on it for about a month, it hit me just how anxious I had always been. Here I was taking it for depression, but I was also anxious as heck. It was a breath of fresh air in my life and Osman's too. Go ahead, you can giggle.
For a couple weeks now I've been toying with the idea of tapering off the medication. So I contacted my doctor and he worked out a taper plan. You might be wondering, why do I need to taper? For starters, you probably wouldn't want to be around me if I just stopped taking my medicine tomorrow. BUT the bigger reason is, there can be withdraw symptoms. My brain is used to an increase in serotonin from the medication and I can't exactly rip that away. So, my doctor started me on a very slow but steady taper.
I'm not really experiencing a lot of physical symptoms but I will say wading through the emotional side has been a little tough. I've found journaling daily and keeping a gratitude journal is helping. I've also been hitting the gym more consistently.
This medication has given me so much freedom and peace but at the same time, I *think* I'm ready to give life a go without it. In no way do I feel like I'm stronger now and can stop taking the anti-depressant. I think the strongest version of myself was the Meagan sitting at the doctor's office 3 years ago asking for help.
If you ever have questions, you know I'm an open book. I'll be working on taking this taper 1 Drop at a Time. However, I know if I need to get back on the medication, that is okay, too.
So, this week I decided to take a big leap. I've been on an anti-depressant for about 3 years now. It has been life saving and life changing. After being on it for about a month, it hit me just how anxious I had always been. Here I was taking it for depression, but I was also anxious as heck. It was a breath of fresh air in my life and Osman's too. Go ahead, you can giggle.
For a couple weeks now I've been toying with the idea of tapering off the medication. So I contacted my doctor and he worked out a taper plan. You might be wondering, why do I need to taper? For starters, you probably wouldn't want to be around me if I just stopped taking my medicine tomorrow. BUT the bigger reason is, there can be withdraw symptoms. My brain is used to an increase in serotonin from the medication and I can't exactly rip that away. So, my doctor started me on a very slow but steady taper.
I'm not really experiencing a lot of physical symptoms but I will say wading through the emotional side has been a little tough. I've found journaling daily and keeping a gratitude journal is helping. I've also been hitting the gym more consistently.
This medication has given me so much freedom and peace but at the same time, I *think* I'm ready to give life a go without it. In no way do I feel like I'm stronger now and can stop taking the anti-depressant. I think the strongest version of myself was the Meagan sitting at the doctor's office 3 years ago asking for help.
If you ever have questions, you know I'm an open book. I'll be working on taking this taper 1 Drop at a Time. However, I know if I need to get back on the medication, that is okay, too.
Sunshine and my crazy boy!
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